Sunflowers and Gravestones

In life, sometimes we can look back and find moments that changed everything in an instant. For some things, like the birth of a child, we attempt to prepare ourselves for it. We think that we have it all figured out as our more experienced friends and family just smile and say, “just wait.” For other things, we don’t see it coming. Or at least that’s what we tell ourselves. But maybe it’s because we weren’t paying attention to the signs.

For me, I’ll never forget the day everything changed.  I had just gotten home from work, and Tim (not his real name) asked to talk to me. He sent our little girls into another room, and I had a “uh oh” feeling and I started wondering what I had done. I was mentally going over my last few days to think if I had said or done something that would require a “talk” like this. Once we were alone, he tells me that he is being investigated by the police for having a sexual relationship with a 16 yr old. To say I was stunned would be an understatement. He was calm, cool, and collect as he told me it had been going on for 3 months, and the girl’s mother found the conversations and reported it to the police.

I asked if there was anyone else.
He said no.
I asked why I should believe him, and he didn’t answer.
I learned later what I knew in my heart then. That he’d lied to me.

I told him he should leave, and he packed an overnight bag told me that he already contacted a lawyer and if the police contacted me to refer them to the lawyer. (It was only later, actually much, much later, that I learned I was at least the fourth person he went to when everything happened… but I’ll save those thoughts for another post ….)

Once he left, I called my best friend, Joy, and I could barely talk as I asked her to come over. When she got to my house, I told her what happened and I cried. I felt so lost, and confused, and just …. in shock of it all. My Mom happen to call about watching my girls that weekend so I could go out with my husband, and all I could get out was telling her she needed to come over. When she came over, and I had the difficult job of telling her what was going on. And I cried, and cried, and cried.

Looking back. My Mom and Joy have been my rock through everything. I don’t what I would have done without them standing by me. When my world fell apart, it was these two strong, amazing women that helped me through it.